Try writing an entire story with only a thousand words at your disposal. It’s a terrific lesson in economy and precession.

After searching for a space, I parked behind the tattoo parlor in front of a sign that said NO PARKING. Since it didn't specify to whom it was referring, I figured it couldn't possibly be talking to me.

You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT

Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.

I’m currently unsupervised It frisks me out too but the possibilities are endless

Garret Swopes was a lot like a hot gay friend only he wasn't gay, which was too bad because then I could tell him how hot he was without him getting the wrong idea.

If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.