I know what kind of man it takes to get involved with something as barbarous as human trafficking.” “I get it, Swopes. He’s not the kind of man you take home to meet your stepmom.” I rethought that. “Wait a minute. Maybe my stepmom would like to meet him. Do you think he ships to Istanbul?

Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.

A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.

She still wasn't convinced. "So, if you were a guy, would you be into me?" "Hon, if I were a guy, I'd be gay." "Yeah, me, too.

That boy needs a hobby." "Stalking is a hobby." "So is serial killing.

But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.

I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT