Never have a dog. Let's not beat around the bush here: dogs are morons.

What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth ? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.

Are we ever going to have a federal tax system that regular people can understand?

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.

European toilet paper is made from the same material that Americans use for roofing, which is why Europeans tend to remain standing throughout soccer matches.

By today's beauty standards, of course, Marilyn Monroe was an oil tanker.

I am not a violent person. I am a product of the Flower Power '60s. I have actually worn bell-bottomed jeans.