I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care.

If you look at photos of the Gettysburg Address there's a guy off to the right who I think is Keith Richards.

Another well-known Paris landmark is the Arc de Triomphe, a moving monument to the many brave women and men who have died trying to visit it.

It's very slow for me to create humor. It takes me a long time to write a humor piece. It takes days.

The books all say that barracuda rarely eat people, but very few barracuda can read.

I always assumed that at some point I would have to quit making jokes, get a real job and do something meaningful and productive that would actually benefit society. Fortunately this never happened.

My son, Rob....said the only time he ever wraps a gift is, quote, "if it's such a poor gift that I don't want to be there when the person opens it."