This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What this means for you, the consumer, is that the airlines are no longer required to follow any rules whatsoever. They can show snuff movies. They can charge for oxygen. They can hire pilots right out of Vending Machine Refill Person School.

A gene can be either dominant or recessive, depending on which type of gene it is.

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar.

I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.

I would rather undergo a vasectomy via Weed Whacker than attend an opera.

It is an inconvenience, being located in a city where taxes are ludicrously high, where you pay twice your annual income to rent an apartment that could easily be carried on a commercial airline flight.

Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column.