Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Don't emphasise money if you don't have much; be happy

Humor is an escape, because you cannot think about your problems when you are trying to be funny; so, in essence, "being a humorist" gives you a valid excuse to hide from your pain.

As far as outlining is concerned, I don't outline humor. I might right down a word or two to remind myself of a punch line I thought of, but the actual structure of a piece I really don't. I don't think it would really help me because for me the process is joke, joke, joke, joke.

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.

If you tell most people what libertarians think, they immediately assume that you cannot mean it all the way, that you're really just taking a position for argument's sake.