All the shopping malls and restaurants and airports are riddled with low-fidelity loudspeakers, which apparently have developed the ability to reproduce by themselves; these are all connected to a special programming service called Music That Nobody Really Likes, and you cannot get away from it.

As far as outlining is concerned, I don't outline humor. I might right down a word or two to remind myself of a punch line I thought of, but the actual structure of a piece I really don't. I don't think it would really help me because for me the process is joke, joke, joke, joke.

My current computer, in addition to 'DOS,' has 'Windows,' which is another invention of Bill Gates, designed as a security measure to thwart those users who are somehow able to get past DOS.

Sign outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques.

This nation is so friendly that the leading cause of injury is getting passionately embraced by strangers.

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.