I’ve noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child is in, the parents who have older children always tell you the next stage is worse.

The story you envision as you start out is always a great story; when the facts turn out to be different from, or more complex than, what you expected, your first reaction is always disappointment. That's when you must fight the urge to bend the story to your preconceived notions. First, it's dishonest. And second, in the end, the truth is always the best story.

Nobody in the United States knows what either a "meter" or a "kilogram" is. The whole reason why we fought the Cold War was so we wouldn't have to learn the metric system.

Nobody understands how hard it is, being a captain.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

How can you be afraid of women?” “Those ain’t normal women.

Your federal government needs your money so that it can perform vital services for you that you would not think up yourself in a million years.