In my experience, you run into trouble when you ask a group of beer-drinking men to perform any task more complex than remembering not to light the filter ends of cigarettes.

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

Like many members of the uncultured, Cheez-It consuming public, I am not good at grasping modern art.

This nation is so friendly that the leading cause of injury is getting passionately embraced by strangers.

The issue we are reluctant to talk about is even more sensitive than condoms. The issue - and I will try to be tasteful here - is that sometimes it seems like maybe the president of the United States is kind of dumb. If you get what I mean. What I mean is, I am not totally confident that the president would get what I mean, unless several aides explained it to him. And even then, he might forget.

RAM: This gives guys a way of deciding whose computer has the biggest, studliest memory. That's important, because the more memory a computer has, the faster it can produce error messages.

I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that, like most books, it had too many words.