When you say you don't think we should have public schools, they can't believe you mean that. You must mean that they should be smaller. But you can't really mean no public schools.

Until I became a parent, I thought children just naturally knew how to catch a ball, that catching was an instinctive biological reflex that all children are born with, like knowing how to operate a remote control or getting high fevers in distant airports.

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath.

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

For most celebrities, the biggest meal of the day is toothpaste (they use reduced-fat Crest).

How can you be afraid of women?” “Those ain’t normal women.