The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

Nobody understands how hard it is, being a captain.

Epcot Center also features pavilions built by various foreign nations, where you can experience an extremely realistic simulation of what life in these nations would be like if they consisted almost entirely of restaurants and souvenir stores.

Genes are little items that are found in every living thing except Sen. Alfonse D'Amato.

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.

Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it.