The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.

The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.

The other major kind of computer is the "Apple," which I do not recommend, because it is a wuss-o-rama New-Age computer you basically just plug in and use.

You can be the smartest person in the world - which Bill Clinton is, and if he's not, his wife is - and care more than anybody else in the world - which he does, I don't doubt that for a minute. And you can care so much that you're willing to be dishonest - you can tell people one thing but do another because you really know it's for their own good. And you'll still screw it all up. Because the whole premise of what you're doing is wrong!

When I write my annual tax column, some ex-IRS agent will complain, "There you go IRS bashing again." They're always saying that they're just doing their job. Someone I know once said, "You could get another job."

People - just weird people are attracted to Miami. And they come there not for serious reasons, usually.