All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

England is a very popular foreign country to visit because the people there speak some English.

2. The instant the doors open, you want to push forward as hard as possible, in an effort to get onto the train without letting anybody off. This is very important. If anybody does get off, it is legal to tackle him and drag him back on.

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.

If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.

I will vote for the first candidate who promises to use nuclear missiles against LinkedIn.

Too many rocks in the mountains.