I've gained a few pounds around the middle. The only lower body garments I own that still fit me comfortably are towels.
Dave BarryI've never actually given birth to a child, but I suspect that going to a Justin Bieber concert with a child is close.
Dave BarryEngland manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.
Dave BarryThe fact that Gene Weingarten and I and Bathroom Inventory are now part of some kind of Matrix of Poop strongly suggests that the Pulitzer is not what it once was.
Dave BarryI took an estimated two thousand years of high school French, and when I finally got to France, I discovered that I didn't know one single phrase that was actually useful in a real-life French situation.
Dave BarryAdvice to expectant mothers: you must remember that when you are pregnant, you are eating for two. But you must remember that the other one of you is about the size of a golf ball, so let's not go overboard with it. I mean, a lot of pregnant women eat as though the other person they're eating for is Orson Welles.
Dave Barry