Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall.

What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.

Passing the SAT: My personal theory is that it has to do with how much money you send them in the mail. I think the amounts they tell you to send are actually just suggested minimum donations - if you get my drift.

In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.

I'm happy to start on one topic and end on another one entirely, as long as it's funny.

I report as a machine; I write as a person. That clear dichotomy softens the transition.

Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really.