Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

We're wild horses. We're going to eat your food, knock down your tent and poop on your shoes. We're protected by federal law, just like Richard Nixon.

To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room without having little pictures on the doors.