Congress is thinking about eliminating a federal program under which scientists broadcast signals to Alien beings. This would be a large mistake. Alien beings have atomic blaster death cannons. You cannot cut off their federal programs as if they were merely poor people.

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.

I'm one of those people who tells my wife, "No coaching from the sidelines."

But if I hadn't shoved you off the boat back there,you'd be lost at sea now,wouldn't you? We'd all be lost! So thanks to me you're all standing on land." (Pirates, its a good thing they're idiots)

I report as a machine; I write as a person. That clear dichotomy softens the transition.

Murphy's golden rule: Whoever has the gold, makes the rules.

There are no bad haircuts in cyberspace.