I can snap your spine like a toothpick.

They have a lot of trouble with pronunciation, because they can't move their jaw muscles, because of malnutrition caused by wisely refusing to eat English food, much of which was designed and manufactured in medieval times during the reign of King Walter the Mildly Disturbed.

I have a friend named Doris who argues, on good authority, that the single biggest cause of global warming is menopause.

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

This (America) is a land of rich diversity, from the towering skyscrapers of Manhatan all the way to the towering mounds of garbage piled up next to the towering skyscrapers of Manhattan.