English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

When I read that I had to go to Gettysburg.

Never have a dog. Let's not beat around the bush here: dogs are morons.

The science fair has long been a favorite educational tool in the American school system, and for a good reason: Your teachers hate you.

The United States tried, by depressing the clutch of diplomacy and downshifting the gearshift lever of rhetoric, to remain neutral, but it became increasingly obvious that the nation was going to get into a war, especially since it was almost 1812.

And what is the Scientific Community doing about these problems, young people? THEY'RE CLONING SHEEP. Great! Just what we need! Sheep that look MORE ALIKE than they already do! Thanks a lot, Scientific Community!

We constantly see surveys that reveal this ignorance, especially among our high school students,78 percent of whom, in a recent nationwide multiple-choice test, identified Abraham Lincoln as 'a kind of lobster.' That's right: more than three quarters of our nation's youth could not correctly identify the man who invented the telephone.