Nobody understands how hard it is, being a captain.

And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

This (America) is a land of rich diversity, from the towering skyscrapers of Manhatan all the way to the towering mounds of garbage piled up next to the towering skyscrapers of Manhattan.

This nation is so friendly that the leading cause of injury is getting passionately embraced by strangers.

Dogs would make totally incompetent criminals. If you could somehow get a group of dogs to understand the concept of the Kennedy assassination, they would all immediately confess to it. Whereas you'll never see a cat display any kind of guilty behavior, despite the fact that several cats were seen in Dallas on the grassy knoll area, not that I wish to start rumors.

The taxpayers cannot be relied upon to support performing arts such as opera. As a taxpayer, I am forced to admit that I would rather undergo a vasectomy via Weed Whacker than attend an opera.

People are afraid to own their own homes. People are afraid their own government will catch them fixing their houses.