Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America.

I believe many Harley guys spend more time revving their engines than actually driving anywhere; I sometimes wonder why they bother to have wheels on their motorcycles.

Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.

I don't know what you can possibly do for less than $50 to have somebody come in your house.

You have to be careful on the deck, because of the "hatches," which are holes placed around a sailboat at random to increase the insurance rates.

Every year I write a tax advice column and I used to always make fun of that. One year, one of my favorite IRS commissioners, I think his name was Roscoe somebody, wrote that one of the most often-asked questions by taxpayers was, "How can I contribute more?" Well, I tell ya, ol' Roscoe's really been doing situps under parked cars again. I've heard a lot of people ask a lot of questions about taxes, but I never heard anybody say, "How can I, the ordinary person, send more money for no reason?"