I'm not saying that women don't think about sex also. I'm saying that women are capable, for at least brief periods of time, of not thinking about sex, and that most guys are not.

Don't emphasise money if you don't have much; be happy

The science fair has long been a favorite educational tool in the American school system, and for a good reason: Your teachers hate you.

Love and pregnancy and riding on a camel cannot be hid

It's a real smug self-righteous punk kid saying nobody has the right to tell him what to do and how dare you put a sign up saying that I can't go on your property?

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.

I've always found relationships, men and women, the fact that they are so radically different, and it manifests itself in so many different ways, and yet somehow we still try to live together and be friends. I find that endlessly valuable as a source of material for humor. Generally dogs are always funny in my opinion. And the federal government - just a relentlessly productive source of humor.