I regularly read Internet user groups filled with messages from people trying to solve software incompatibility problems that, in terms of complexity, make the U.S. Tax Code look like Dr. Seuss.

Please try not to be such a wiener-head.

I'm one of those people who tells my wife, "No coaching from the sidelines."

Famous designers think nothing of putting their names on your clothing, but would have the servants set the dogs on you if you ever tried to put your name on their clothing.

Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor's garden tiller. If your neighbor does not own a garden tiller, suggest that he buy one.

Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare.

A secret society within a secret society.