Stache’s attack was perfectly timed, thanks to his veteran-pirate grasp tactics—and a big piece if luck.

I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that, like most books, it had too many words.

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.

The thing I have learned, especially in the Internet age, probably the easiest thing in the world is to declare that something is not funny. I mean it's not actually humor to say something is not funny, but it is viewed by a lot of people - and by that I mean mainly snarky young Internet men - as a kind of humor in and of itself is putting down other people's efforts at humor. And I don't care that much anymore about that because I know how easy that is to do.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask whether your country has been inhaling paint-thinner fumes.

Someone was tapping on the window.