Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.
Dave BarryI took an estimated two thousand years of high school French, and when I finally got to France, I discovered that I didn't know one single phrase that was actually useful in a real-life French situation.
Dave BarryWhen you say you don't think we should have public schools, they can't believe you mean that. You must mean that they should be smaller. But you can't really mean no public schools.
Dave BarryAlan Zweibel is the funniest writer in the world. He might be even funnier when he's naked, but I'm afraid to find out.
Dave BarryThe Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy. The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club
Dave Barry