I'm a big believer in anesthesia. I think it should be used for every medical procedure, indlucing routine physicals.

The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each other.

Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.

I would rather undergo a vasectomy via Weed Whacker than attend an opera.

Today's beauty ideal, strictly enforced by the media, is a person with the same level of body fat as a paper clip.

During the warm season (August 8 and 9), Maine is a true vacation paradise, offering visitors a chance to jump into crystal-clear mountain lakes and see if they can get back out again before their bodily tissue is frozen as solid as a supermarket turkey.

The way this country deals with drugs is just not funny. What a waste of everyone's time and effort. What a waste of a lot of people's lives.