The Russians will never be able to get their missiles thought the dense protective layer of delayed flights circling over the United States in complex, puke-inducing holding patterns.

In South Florida, we have industrial cockroaches that have to be equipped with loud warning beepers so you can get out of their way when they back up.

Genes are little items that are found in every living thing except Sen. Alfonse D'Amato.

Infiniti ads are part of an exciting new trend called "Advertising Whose Sole Purpose Is to Irritate You."

I bet that if you actually read the entire vastness of the U.S. Tax Code, you'd find at least one sex scene . . .

DNA is an abbreviation for deoxyribonucleicantidisestablishmentarianism, a complex string of syllables.

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.