I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.

Stache’s attack was perfectly timed, thanks to his veteran-pirate grasp tactics—and a big piece if luck.

He felt a momentary pang of regret that he had not spent more time with his beloved wife. But it passed when he remembered that the reason he’d gone to sea in the first place was that he had never really liked his beloved wife.

I report as a machine; I write as a person. That clear dichotomy softens the transition.

Teenagers are bored. By everything. Show a teenager an actual volcanic eruption, in progress, featuring giant billowing clouds of smoke, hot rocks raining from the sky, lava floes destroying entire villages, etc., and the teenager, eyebrows arched with sarcasm, will look at you and say, "Gee, this is swell," then return to the rental car, turn on his portable CD player, and listen to a band called Stomach Contents.

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

I've never actually given birth to a child, but I suspect that going to a Justin Bieber concert with a child is close.