Another important rule of affair-having: Never be discreet at the office.

If you look at photos of the Gettysburg Address there's a guy off to the right who I think is Keith Richards.

Directors are always changing things at the last minute. Actors will do a scene, and the director will say, ‘Okay, that was perfect, but this time, Bob, instead of saying “What’s for dinner?” you say, “Wait a minute! Benzene is actually a hydrocarbon!” And say it with a Norwegian accent. Also, we think maybe your character should have no arms.

There shall be a National Anthem containing incomprehensible words and a high note that normal humans cannot hit without risk of hernia.

I have never had a point in my life to make. I'm just trying to entertain the reader.

The Russians will never be able to get their missiles thought the dense protective layer of delayed flights circling over the United States in complex, puke-inducing holding patterns.

This year, U.S. airlineswill carry a record 143 million passengers, who will be in the air for 382 million hours, during which they will be fed an estimated total of four peanuts.