The porpoises said hello to Molly. She told them all her teeth were green.

DNA is an abbreviation for deoxyribonucleicantidisestablishmentarianism, a complex string of syllables.

If you tell the reader it's funny, then the audience is like an audience at a stand-up comedy club and they expect you to be funny, and if you're not, they notice. Whereas if you read a regular op-ed about Israel or the family or medicine, you're not starting with the assumption that you're supposed to laugh.

I become faint and nauseous during even very minor medical procedures, such as making an appointment by phone.

Greyhound Bus Lines motto: "We Stop For Some Damn Thing Every 200 Yards."

You should never pick up a newspaper when you're feeling good, because every newspaper has a special department, called the Bummer Desk, which is responsible for digging up depressing front-page stories.

There is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.