Washington is nicknamed "The Evergreen State" because it sounds better than "The Incessant Nagging Drizzle State."

I tell people view the federal government as a source of entertainment. It's a lot easier.

There shall be a National Anthem containing incomprehensible words and a high note that normal humans cannot hit without risk of hernia.

I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care.

Like many members of the uncultured, Cheez-It consuming public, I am not good at grasping modern art.

...Terry Jackson, who is the Miami Herald's automotive writer and TV critic. That's correct: This man gets paid to drive new cars AND watch television. If he ever dies and goes to heaven, it's going to be a big let down.

At certain times each year, we journalists do almost nothing except apply for the Pulitzers and several dozen other major prizes. During these times you could walk right into most newsrooms and commit a multiple axe murder naked, and it wouldn't get reported in the paper because the reporters and editors would all be too busy filling out prize applications.