Washington is nicknamed "The Evergreen State" because it sounds better than "The Incessant Nagging Drizzle State."

Greyhound Bus Lines motto: "We Stop For Some Damn Thing Every 200 Yards."

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

If Black Stache laughed, you laughed. If he snarled, you snarled. If he breathed in your direction, you ran for cover.

I am much more likely to care about someone trying to be funny and give them some credit for whatever he or she did that was remotely funny than I am to be mused by somebody declaring this isn't funny, that isn't funny, this sucks. If you want to write humor, you're going to have to get used to that.