If the people in Europe are SOOOOOO smart, how come so many of them can't seem to locate the deodorant, huh?

The population of earth has reached 7 billion people, every single one of whom send you irritating emails to join something called "LinkedIn."

SAT tests are designed by huge panels of experts in education and psychology who work for years to design tests in which not one single question measures any bit of knowledge that anyone might actually need in the real world. We should applaud kids for getting lower scores.

And that's the wonderful thing about family travel: it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue of your mind.

Famous designers think nothing of putting their names on your clothing, but would have the servants set the dogs on you if you ever tried to put your name on their clothing.

Spiders so large they appear to be wearing the pelts of small mammals.

This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes to get a beer.