Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.

I was a middle-of-the-road Democrat more than anything else. I know I voted for Carter. Watergate taught me how bad the Republicans were.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?

She wanted to cry, but she did not want Peter to see her cry, and she especially did not want Teacher, with her flowing hair, to see her cry.

A critical function that we journalists perform at political conventions is to try to get into parties that we have not been invited to. There are dozens of these parties, sponsored by large corporations with a sincere public-spirited desire to become larger.

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?