Dogs would make totally incompetent criminals. If you could somehow get a group of dogs to understand the concept of the Kennedy assassination, they would all immediately confess to it. Whereas you'll never see a cat display any kind of guilty behavior, despite the fact that several cats were seen in Dallas on the grassy knoll area, not that I wish to start rumors.

I bet that if you actually read the entire vastness of the U.S. Tax Code, you'd find at least one sex scene . . .

You should be prepared for anything during divorce proceedings - even the truth.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.

You can't have a bad time at Disney World. It's not allowed. They have hidden electronic surveillance cameras everywhere, and if they catch you failing to laugh with childlike wonder, they lock you inside a costume representing a beloved Disney character such as Goofy and make you walk about in the Florida heat getting grabbed and leaped on by violently excited children until you have learned your lesson.

Each year, millions of skiers come to Colorado to experience its superb emergency medical facilities.