Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.
Dave BarryI am much more likely to care about someone trying to be funny and give them some credit for whatever he or she did that was remotely funny than I am to be mused by somebody declaring this isn't funny, that isn't funny, this sucks. If you want to write humor, you're going to have to get used to that.
Dave BarryI called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?
Dave BarryI haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.
Dave BarryIn Los Angeles, the jury in the Reginald Denny Beating trial, after much thinking, concludes, that Person A is not necessarily trying to kill Person B just because Person A happens to very deliberately bash Person B's skull in with a brick. The verdict is applauded by scientists at the Tobacco Institute.
Dave Barry