Today's beauty ideal, strictly enforced by the media, is a person with the same level of body fat as a paper clip.
Dave BarryI've gained a few pounds around the middle. The only lower body garments I own that still fit me comfortably are towels.
Dave BarryIt was not easy victory in the America Cup. Our boys spent years experimenting with different designs for their boat before they came up with the innovative idea of having a submerged nuclear submarine tow it.
Dave BarryWithin less than an hour, Chuck and I easily located what could well be the correct platform, where we pass the time by perspiring freely until the train storms in, colorfully decorated, as is the tradition in New York, with the spray-painted initials of all the people it has run over.
Dave BarryMost married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result of being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting matches over such issues as toaster settings.
Dave Barry