Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

When I read that I had to go to Gettysburg.

With humor you have so many options with topics and length, I mean I can write humor essays in books now and they can be as long as I want them to be.

Never have a dog. Let's not beat around the bush here: dogs are morons.

Avoid the traffic by using one of the park's shuttle buses and view the elk rut with a park ranger.

I read Warren Zevon's bizarre biography, "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead." His wife, Crystal Zevon, posthumously published a journal he wrote and some interviews with ex-band members. Like [Keith] Richards's book "Life," it's brutally honest.

U.S. News Organizations observe the anniversary of September 11 with investigations about the nation's continuing vulnerability to terrorism. First, the New York Daily News reports that two of its reporters carried box cutters, razor kinves, and pepper spray on fourteen commerical flights without getting caught. Then ABC News reports that it smuggled fifteen pounds of uranium into New York City. Then Fox News reports that it flew Osama bin Laden to Washington, D.C., and videotaped him touring the White House.