Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

You must prepare yourselves, young people, because Uncle Dave's generation is getting old. We are almost ready to go to the retirement home to spend the rest of our days tapping our bedpans rhythmically in time to "easy listening" rock 'n' roll. We must pass the torch on to you, and you must grasp it, ideally by the end that is not on fire.

We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth.

Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.

The method preferred by most balding men for making themselves look silly is called the comb over.