Long, long ago, before eruptions were invented, the molten lava had to be carried down the mountainside, bucket by bucket, and poured over the sleeping villagers. This took time.

I always wanted to write when I was a kid; it just never occurred to me that you could have a job that didn't involve any actual work.... I felt it would be fun to have a job like that where you could make stuff up and be irresponsible and get paid for it.

The great thing about golf - and this is the reason why a lot of health experts like me recommend it - you can drink beer and ride in a cart while you play.

Like all writers, my greatest inspiration, my ultimate muse, is a deadline.

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

A gene can be either dominant or recessive, depending on which type of gene it is.

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.