normal person's weekly chore list: 1. clean kitchen. 2. clean bathroom. 3. clean entire rest of domicile. cleaning impaired person's weekly chore list: 1. don't get peanut butter on sheets.
Dave BarrySign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.
Dave BarryThe world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.
Dave BarryIf you have ever seen the movie Night of the Living Dead, you have a rough idea how modern corporations and organizations operate, with projects and proposals that everybody thought were killed constantly rising from their graves to stagger back into meetings and eat the brains of the living.
Dave Barry