I tell people view the federal government as a source of entertainment. It's a lot easier.

[There is] a breed of fashion models

I don't know what you can possibly do for less than $50 to have somebody come in your house.

What I need is a search engine that, no matter what I type in, comes back with GO BACK TO WORK.

Here in Miami, on weekends, amusement-seekers will come to the marina, set up folding chairs, and spend a highly entertaining day watching boat owners perform comical maneuvers such as forgetting to set their parking brakes and having their cars roll down the ramp and disappear, burbling gaily, below the surface.

The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each other.

I'm afraid that, in this chapter we must talk about sex in a very explicit manner, because we want to expand the Frontiers of Human Understanding and also we want to sell as many books as possible to adolescent boys.