Of course God enjoys a good prank as much as the next infallible deity.

Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.

I would rather undergo a vasectomy via Weed Whacker than attend an opera.

Megahertz: This is really, really big hertz.

Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer.

You can, legally, possibly hit and kill a fellow golfer with a ball, and there will not be a lot of trouble because the other golfers will refuse to stop and be witnesses because they will want to keep playing.

In my experience, you run into trouble when you ask a group of beer-drinking men to perform any task more complex than remembering not to light the filter ends of cigarettes.