This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes to get a beer.

There are two kinds of people in this world, and I am one of them.

Whatever the needs of the public are, the government responds to those needs by getting larger.

I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that, like most books, it had too many words.

Many people have trouble sticking to their resolutions, and there is a simple scientific explanation for this. In 1987, a team of psychologists conducted a study in which they monitored the New Year's resolutions of 275 people. After one week the psychologists found that 92 percent of the people were keeping their resolutions; after two weeks we have no idea what happened because the psychologists had quit monitoring.

You can say any fool thing to a dog and the dog will just give you this look that says, 'My GOSH, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!

I hate to speak for the whole society, but I will. I'm a journalist, it's my job. There's been something of a reaction against political correctness. Needless to say, the government hasn't caught up yet.