There are a number of people without whom I could not have written this book, but I hope you don't hold that against them. They are all fine people, and they had no idea how it would turn out.

I watched as an extremely nerdy exhibitor - I'm talking about a guy who makes Bill Gates look like Brad Pitt.

We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.

This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes to get a beer.

Do not spit gum in the drinking fountains.

AARP is a large and powerful organization, similar to the Mafia but more concerned about dietary fiber.

Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.