My wife asked me once if I weren't a comedian, what I would do. I couldn't answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.

Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was too nice. It was a real nice house, but they'd never believe i lived in it. They'd be like 'He's still here!

If you're Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, and your marriage is breaking up - that's an awful thing. But to see that speculation in people, it's gotta sting a little bit.

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone... you answer it.

I support anyone's right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?

It seems like there's never enough famous white people among comic in Hollywood.

Things like racism are institutionalized. You might not know any bigots. You feel like "well I don't hate black people so I'm not a racist," but you benefit from racism. Just by the merit, the color of your skin. The opportunities that you have, you're privileged in ways that you might not even realize because you haven't been deprived of certain things. We need to talk about these things in order for them to change.