Weed's not as bad as everything else... 'cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain't crisp... but you'll function.

People don't know what it's like standing up there onstage, when you have a wall of people smiling at you.

If I can make a teacher's salary doing comedy, I think that's better than being a teacher.

I have a very good life, a high quality of life. I have both money and time. No one has that.

If you're Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, and your marriage is breaking up - that's an awful thing. But to see that speculation in people, it's gotta sting a little bit.

Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they're socially callous.

Because I was surrounded by so much negativity at some point that it took me going back and doing stand-up to realize, you know, people really like me.