If I can make a teacher's salary doing comedy, I think that's better than being a teacher.

Stand-up is the kind of gig that'll show you where you're at.

No one wants to get their ass beat to a soundtrack.

I don't care if I ever work in TV again.

I don't want the money. I don't want the drama. I just want to do my show. I want to have fun again.

I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down!

It seems like there's never enough famous white people among comic in Hollywood.