I just like seeing people. I just like meeting people. I like finding out new walks of life and new ideas.

I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.

Comedy is a very approval-oriented field.

I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at one point, I'll walk away from show business. But I don't want to walk away empty-handed.

My father told me 'Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.'

I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing.

Weed's not as bad as everything else... 'cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain't crisp... but you'll function.