You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.

I think extreme sports are really good for relieving stress.

Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he's not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn't even say that.

Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they're socially callous.

Jerry Seinfeld, he was doing Letterman show all the time, so he kind of had an excuse, that people know the jokes already. He didn't have time to do stand-up. A guy like me, I have no excuses.

You can't get unfamous. You can get infamous but you can't get unfamous.

Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.