No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone... you answer it.

The kid is the best thing that ever happened to me.

If someone sits and stares at you while you eat, you won't even eat the way you normally do, because it'll make you so uncomfortable. If I look at my dog when he's eating, he will look at me like, "Dave, I will bite you. What are you looking at? I'm trying to eat." It's something that dehumanizes a person, being on display like that.

If you don't have the right people around you and you're moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself.

Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was too nice. It was a real nice house, but they'd never believe i lived in it. They'd be like 'He's still here!

Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they're socially callous.

The world can't tell you who you are. You've just got to figure out who you are and be there, for better or worse.