I'm pretty happy. I obviously have complaints about things, but for the most part, I'm on the above-average side of happy people.

I did one of the worst shows for that kind of thing in Northampton, Massachusetts, which is one of the most liberal spots on the planet. There were numerous people who walked out, somebody had thrown a beer, I had people yelling and screaming.

I lived in LA for almost nine years and if I never went back there again it would be fine.

[If Donald Trump does get elected, I will be] probably Secretary Of Reeducation. Or I don't know. I'll probably end up working in the cafeteria.

Nobody is going to be as bad for free thinking, right-minded individuals than George Bush.

I just did 101 shows in 86 different cities in America and Europe and Canada, and I'm not lying or exaggerating when I say, at the vast majority of shows, they loved it. There were encores, there were standing ovations.

There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally.