If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.

[If Donald Trump does get elected, I will be] probably Secretary Of Reeducation. Or I don't know. I'll probably end up working in the cafeteria.

There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally.

I lived in LA for almost nine years and if I never went back there again it would be fine.

I'm very vocal about my belief that all religion is garbage. Most of my friends are religious or at least spiritual. These are people I like and I know are intelligent. It's this thing that I carry around. I know I'd be a better person if I was fairer, but it's at the core of who I am and what I believe.

If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.